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Today is June 13

Abused Women’s and Children’s Awareness Day

Domestic Violence Advice

A man who beats a woman will do it again. And again. And again.

There are no class, racial, ethnic, religious or economic boundaries when it comes to domestic violence. Anyone can be a victim. Anyone.

Sheriff Mike Tregre says, “Battering is about power and control and another person. It might start out as name calling, threats, displays of violence in the victim’s presence and possibly damage of property or pets. Then it might escalate to pushing, slapping and restraining. It may, and often, progresses even further to punching, kicking, biting, sexual assault, tripping and throwing. Finally, it may become life threatening by choking, breaking bones, or ultimately with the use of weapons.”

Every fifteen seconds the crime of battering occurs. Women are more often the victims of domestic violence than victims of burglary, mugging, or other physical crimes combined. Forty-two percent of murdered women are killed by their ultimate male partners.

Acts of domestic violence generally fall into one or more of the following categories:

 physical battering from bruising to murder;
 sexual abuse whereby the woman is forced to have sexual intercourse with her
abuser or take part in unwanted sexual acts; and
 psychological battering by means of verbal abuse, harassment, excessive
possessiveness, isolating women from family and friends, depriving her of money
and destruction of personal property.

But, battering can take many other forms such as using children, using male privilege or even economic abuse. Whatever the means, its damage to its victims is destructive.

The Sheriff offers victims of domestic violence some sound information and advice:
 Tell a trusted family member of friend about the abuse.
 You do not deserve to be abused.
 You cannot change someone who is abusive.
 Staying in the relationship will not stop the abuse.
 Over time, the abuse always gets worse.
 If you stay, make a plan to keep yourself safe when the abuse happens again.
 Call your local battered women’s program or Sheriff’s Office for further information and help.

Sheriff  Tregre concludes, “Regardless of how domestic violence occurs, be it physical, sexual or psychological, the cycle of abuse runs deep and wide for its victims. It can destroy families. Breaking the cycle of abuse is not easy, but there are means for its victims to do so. And remember, abuse is not your fault.”

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In 1970 “The Long and Winding Road” by the Beatles is #1.

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How to stay calm and collected in traffic

Commuting long distances seems to be a fact of life for many professionals. The average American spends 50 minutes commuting to work, and the average worker in the United Kingdom spends roughly an hour, according to a study from the University of West England.

Researchers in England found that adding an additional 20 minutes of commuting per day has the same negative effect on job satisfaction as receiving a 19 percent pay cut. Commuters can sometimes control their commutes to prevent such dissatisfaction, but other times factors beyond their control may be adversely affecting commuters’ quality of life. For example, researchers with the Texas A&M Transportation Institute determined that rush-hour commuters in the United States lose an average of 42 hours per year to traffic delays. On the nation’s 10 most gridlocked roads, that number doubles to 84 hours. That equates to three and a half days per year of sitting in traffic jams.

Spending time in traffic is no picnic, and it’s easy to get frazzled when doing so day in and day out. Following a few tips can help commuters keep their stress in check when traffic slows down.

· Leave plenty of time. Traffic can seem especially troublesome when you’re racing the clock to get somewhere on time. Feeling anxious about missing a meeting or arriving to work late only exacerbates commuting-related stress. Check traffic maps before heading out and leave ample time to get where you need to be.

· Keep audiobooks at the ready. Listening to an engaging story on the way to work can direct attention away from traffic. In fact, you may not mind traffic at all if you’re at a climactic point in the story.

· Cue up your favorite music playlists. Get lost in jams you love, as music can help soothe the stress of traffic.

· Explore alternate routes. In your spare time, figure out if there are less-traveled roads that can make a commute more predictable and enjoyable. While they may be slightly longer in mileage, moving along instead of being in stop-and-go traffic can be a relief.

· Smile even if you don’t feel like it. Psychology Today says that research suggests going through the motions of smiling may reduce the intensity of your body’s stress response, even while sitting in traffic.

· Take deep breaths. Practice mindful breathing exercises that can reduce tension.

Commuters contend with traffic jams every day, but there are various coping mechanisms that can relieve stress when stuck in gridlock.